2006, the last record of my visit to the doctor.

No existing records may serve as reference in my memories to how it feels like to be sick anymore. Up until the week before, have i recalled how it felt to be utterly weak, ready to collapse on your feet just because you feel like it.

It doesn't become a choice, but a conscious feeling, that every muscle in your body aches, that your mind can barely think things straight because it's tied up in knots, just like your stomach is, followed by that dried throat which causes you excruciating pain with the slightest movement of anything that might agitate your esophagus.


Weak,

The perfect word to describe the physical state i've been in for the past week. It kind of reminds you how fragile you really are, and that health isn't something we should take for granted. On a lighter note, about 4 kilo's lost thanks to the miseries of the week.

What a pain in the ass it is to constantly feel miserable on top of the already constant existing misery we're meant to face from everyday life. It's just a big huge pile of shit on top of the shit that already piles on you.


On the other hand, now that i'm better, my mind constantly wanders of into imaginations of the near future and what we face. How we'll come to define ourselves in the final stages of adolescence and all that comes with young adulthood.

"We're growing up."


NOTE: Some feelings just don't go away, and some people, can never be replaced.