I guess i'm supposed to post something happy now that exams are over. i was but something's
come up and i think it's important. Not very good news.
It started 2 weeks ago, I rode to tuition on my bike. my sister then found a stray cat and decided to bring it back home with us. we kept it at our back alley when our parents were around as they wouldn't let us keep a cat. keeping it everyday and just bringing it in the house every once in a while. It was a rather cute cat, pretty tame. but it was really playful.
For the next few days, we would bring in the cat almost everyday. i've hugged it kissed it. Me and my sister were pretty comfortable with it hanging around us. you know just climbing on our laps, shoulders. nibbling at our feet and hands. we fed it on a daily basis because it was pretty small and it would be hard for it to get it's own food. We bathed it, cleaned it and spent our time with it.
Even though it was just 2 weeks of love, but it meant alot. everytime i took out my book to study it would bite around my pages, so i had to just let it nibble on my fingers to keep it entertained. when i had my phone calls it would swipe at the phone line and ocassionally manage to pluck out the line. i would then have to put it on my lap and stroke it to keep it from bothering me.
It's fallen asleep on my lap numerous times. i've fallen asleep while it rested on my tummy, when i woke up i was pretty startled to see a furry ball rested and curled on my stomach. It had a slight wound on it's right ear, we washed it and placed medicine every once in a while. In fact the wound was healing pretty well. it was almost normal. How much me and my sister loved the cat, as if it was with us for years. it scratched me a number of times( i have a few scars) but it's all no harm meant.
We would run to put it outside when my mom came home. we always rushed, i guess that's how we got cut most of the time. Then just recently, i came home today. expecting a good day, i went to the back alley to call it out. it ran and circled, then a car zoom-ed pass by and struck it. How scared my heart was. i panicked, the shivers sent down my spine. i could just burst right there. but i knew it wasn't appropriate. i rushed to get the keys and brought it in the house. it was twitching. It's the most nerve racking thing to watch something die and twitch. My hands shook as i watched the cat die. my heart felt this utterly weird feeling, not sad. but i felt useless. Angry because i didn't do anything to save the cat. It was as if all the bones were broken, my hands shiver as i write this blog post. the pictures of the incident flash past my mind.
A truly traumatizing experience watching something you love, die in front of you. It's just so frustrating and the image repeats over and over again, i need to get over it. You won't feel very strong once you've lost something you love. and this time, it was just a cat. what will happen when someone really dear to me leaves my side. i couldn't bear to see my maid and my sister bury the cat. so i just stayed back, flashes of the cat dead on the floor with blood our of it's mouth bear in my mind. i still remember how cute it was when it meow-ed at me when it was hungry or wanted to play.
Just hope that all of you know, you should really treasure whatever's by your side. here's another departure to a better place. i hope the cat was put out of it's misery as soon as possible.
Just know that, everything you have now. It can go away in the blink of an eye. In fact, we haven't given it a name. but all in all, just hope it knows we love it.
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